How to Handle Toddler Tantrums

You’re trying to leave the park, and suddenly your toddler is kicking, screaming, and refusing to get in the car. You’re tired, people are watching, and you’re thinking, What do I even do right now? That’s exactly why we’re talking about how to handle Toddler Tantrums.

To put it simply, you can handle toddler tantrums by staying calm, showing empathy, and helping your child feel understood, then teaching them better ways to cope once they’re calm.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about having the right tools when things go sideways. 

Keep reading, and we’ll walk through what to do in the moment, how to make things smoother next time, and when tantrums might mean something more.

What are Toddler Tantrums?

A tantrum is basically a toddler’s way of saying, “This is too much for me.” It might look like:

• Crying and screaming

• Kicking, hitting, or throwing

• Shutting down or hiding

• Clinging or whining non-stop.

You might notice different kinds of tantrums. Some are crying tantrums where your toddler just sobs, others are full-on temper tantrums with shouting and kicking. 

Either way, these are your toddler’s big emotions spilling over because they don’t have the words or brain development yet to handle it calmly.

Why Do Toddlers Have Tantrums?

Honestly, this question comes up all the time: Why do toddlers have tantrums?

There are a few common reasons:

• They’re tired (like really tired)

• They’re hungry

• They’re overstimulated—too much noise, too many people, too many toys

• They don’t have the words to say what they need

• A change in routine throws them off

• They’re testing limits (which is actually a healthy part of growing up)

• They’re overwhelmed by feelings they can’t name yet.

If your toddler is between 18 months and 3 years, you’re in peak tantrum territory. Even more so around 2 years old.

Are Temper Tantrums Normal?

Yes. Temper tantrums are a normal part of toddler development. They’re not trying to manipulate you. They simply don’t have the brain tools yet to handle emotions calmly.

Their emotional brain is in charge right now, and their logical brain? Still under construction. That’s why your 3-year-old’s temper tantrums might seem like they’re getting worse because their emotions are getting bigger, but their self-control isn’t quite there yet.

How to Deal with Toddler Tantrums

So what do you do when your toddler is having a tantrum like right there in the middle of the grocery store, or when you’re already late to daycare?

Here’s a simple step-by-step:

• Stay Calm: Easier said than done, but your calm helps their calm. Take a breath, speak softly, and remind yourself they’re not doing this to you. They’re having a hard time.

• Acknowledge the Feeling: Try saying something like, “You’re really upset because we had to leave the park. That’s hard.” When kids feel understood, their brains start to calm.

• Keep Them Safe: If they’re hitting or throwing, gently move them or the object. Say, “I won’t let you hit, but I see you’re really mad.”

• Don’t Try to Teach During the Tantrum: In the moment, they can’t hear logic. Save any lessons for later when they’re calm.

Let’s find out how to help your child handle big feelings with love and support. 

Teach Calm Skills During Calm Moments

You can’t teach a child how to calm down when they’re in the middle of a meltdown. But you can help them practice when things are peaceful. 

Try fun and simple activities like blowing bubbles to practice deep breathing, shaking a calm-down jar filled with glitter, doing a “stretch like a cat” pose from yoga, reading books about feelings, or showing emotion cards with different faces. 

The more you do these together, the better they’ll handle big feelings next time.

Gentle But Clear Boundaries

Being gentle doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It’s okay to set limits, just do it with kindness. 

Say things like, “I won’t let you hit me. I’m here to help you,” or, “You’re allowed to be angry. It’s not okay to throw the toy.” You can also say, “We’re leaving now, and I know that’s really hard for you.” 

These clear and loving words will help your child feel safe while learning what’s okay and what’s not.

After the Storm: Reconnect

Once your toddler has calmed down, that’s the perfect moment to connect with them again. Offer a quiet hug or just sit with them. You can say something like, “You were so upset. That was hard.” 

Then, if they’re ready, gently ask, “Next time, what could you try instead?” This helps them feel understood and teaches them to handle their feelings better the next time.

Looking for ways to keep your toddler busy and calm? Try some of these fun and simple toddler activities.

Toddler Tantrums at Bedtime

Bedtime is a common tantrum hotspot. You’ve probably seen it. Suddenly, they’re crying, refusing pajamas, screaming about brushing teeth, or begging for one more story.

Why? Because bedtime means separation. It means stopping play. It means transition and transitions are hard for toddlers.

What helps:

• Stick to a predictable routine

• Give plenty of warning before each step ("Five more minutes, then we brush teeth")

• Offer choices when you can ("Red pajamas or blue ones?")

• Use a comfort item like a blanket to help them feel secure.

Sometimes a toddler just needs a little extra comfort to wind down.

When to Worry About Toddler Tantrums

Most tantrums are totally normal. But sometimes they feel more intense than usual. So how do you know when to worry?

Here are a few signs to keep an eye on:

• Your toddler is hurting themselves or others during tantrums

• They hold their breath or faint during meltdowns

• Severe temper tantrums in 2-year-olds happen every day, and nothing seems to help

• Tantrums continue past age five and are still very intense.

If any of that sounds familiar, it’s a good idea to talk with your pediatrician. It doesn’t mean something is “wrong,” but extra support can really help.

How to Prevent Tantrums (Or Have Fewer of Them)

Here are some simple, real-life tips that actually help:

How Swaddle Tote Helps When You're Out and a Tantrum Hits

Tantrums don’t wait for the perfect time. They can happen in the middle of a grocery aisle, at the park, or just as you're ordering your coffee. That’s when being prepared really matters. 

A well-packed diaper bag like the Swaddle Tote diaper bag makes all the difference. It has space for everything that helps your toddler calm down, like a snack, their favorite toy, a change of clothes if things get messy, and even a cozy item that makes them feel safe.

Instead of scrambling through a cluttered bag or realizing you forgot something, you’ll have what you need exactly when you need it. That kind of calm prep can turn a stressful moment into one you handle with confidence.

Wrapping Up

If your toddler is having tantrums at 18 months or your 3-year-old seems to be having more meltdowns than before, take a deep breath. You’re not alone facing this. Plus, know that your child isn’t being bad, and you’re not doing anything wrong.

Toddler Tantrums are part of growing up. These happen because your little one is learning how to deal with big feelings. With time, love, simple routines, a few calming tools, and your steady support, they’ll learn how to handle those emotions better.

And you’ll feel more confident every step of the way. 

Tantrums on the go? These diaper bag must-haves can help you stay ready for anything.